Friday Morning Quarterback

NASCAR: Where we Don't Know the Difference Between Loving Our Fans and Abusing Them Horribly

2008-02-25T09:20:00.000-08:00

Long time followers of NASCAR know that the sports "Governing Body" (aka, the progeny of founder Bill France) will often make decisions that are, well, inexplicable, and then justify them with the "we're right, you're dumb" type of bunker mentality common with an organization that does not appreciate having its judgment questioned. The blanket statement, "best interest of the fans" can be applied to every decision as well, true or not.

In some cases, especially when its not true. For instance, the interminable fiasco that was the first "real" race of the 2008 season, at the Auto Club (nee California) Speedway. Bad enough was the decision to start the race on a track that was, literally, bleeding water (directly leading to the crashes of 2 superstars, including the sport's highest profile star - who was not happy at all - as well as depositing another driver on his roof and setting another on fire). To then follow that with a "we're going to run this race today, regardless of any common sense" attitude - ostensibly so that the fans at the track could see the race - is to treat those same fans with remarkable contempt. At a track where you already are having problems selling tickets, you then jerk the paying customer around for hours before finally announcing what every thinking person knew long ago - at 11 at night, you finally call the race. Brilliant.

Honestly? The real reason there was such desperation to run the race is because of the horrendous schedule NASCAR has set to start the year - what had once been a quick trip to Rockingham, North Carolina - literally in NASCAR's back yard - the second race is now the cross country trek to California, followed by another extensive trip to Las Vegas. So running the race on Monday would mean loading up Monday night, driving back to North Carolina, packing up, and then arriving in Vegas by Friday morning. It's akin to the NFL having a team play a Monday Night game, then sending them to play a Thursday night game in London - except at least the NFL wouldn't need to resort to time travel to make it possible.

If there was ever a sport that could use some legitimate leadership it's NASCAR. Ironically, Lesa France Kennedy is the exact type of intelligent and savvy business leader the sport could use. But, dang, she's a girl, so they have to hand the reigns over to unqualified son Brian, who was born with the proper genitalia. Poetic, somewhat, that a sport that wants to escape its redneck image could be set back in such a way.

In Memorium - The Phoenix Suns

2008-02-25T09:12:00.001-08:00

So, the Phoenix Suns were, at one point, the best team in the NBA, and also one of the most entertaining.

And yesterday, they get run off their own court by the Detroit Pistons - hardly known to be a big fast break team. They were getting whooped by 30 after 3 - but did manage to look very competitive against the Piston backups.

I wonder if this is what Steve Kerr had in mind when the made the trade for Shaq. It might be time to admit that being Michael Jordan's scrappy white sidekick for a couple of years doesn't necessarily qualify you to be an NBA GM.

More From the Round Orange Ball Sport

2008-02-14T09:49:00.000-08:00

More basketball? What can I say, I'm just fascinated by the collective egos of the sport's infantile stars.

Such as ...

Timberwolves guard Marko Jaric wants to be traded to a contender. Good for him. Of course, any team that has Jaric as a significant contributer would, automatically, not be a contender anymore.

The ratio of players who think they're great as opposed to the number who are actually decent is just staggering. It's no shock, really, that some teams have managed to become great simply by finding 5 people that can get along with each other for 3 hours a day.

Also, in what other sport can you see a benchwarmer destroy a blockbuster trade?

All You Need to Know about the Pro Bowl

2008-02-11T08:25:00.000-08:00

After listening to Daryl "Moose" Johnston talk about how "physical" this game was going to be, the AFC then takes the opening kickoff in for an easy touchdown. On the extra point, both the blockers and the rushers ... don't move. They couldn't even put in enough effort to try to stand up or get out of their crouch.

I guess the NFC won, which really indicates - well, nothing. Though watching Derek Anderson miss alot of wide open and completely uncovered receivers wouldn't exactly have filled me with much confidence, if I was a Browns fan.

Re: Seatwarmer

2008-02-09T19:23:00.000-08:00

Congratulations Jim Zorn to being named interim coach of the Washington Redskins.

Play nice, and there's a good chance that Bill Cowher will let you stay on his staff next season, too.

Slow Down, We Have to Wait for Shaq!

2008-02-07T13:45:00.000-08:00

Remember what I said about basketball being generally ignorable, but that basketball transactions are fascinating? That's even more so when we have a potentially overwhelmed young GM making a panic trade that could destroy what had been a very good and extraordinarily entertaining team.

The Phoenix Suns had the best record in the NBA, best point differential (indicating that their success was not based on simply being lucky), and played probably the fastest pace of any team in the league.

So, when I think of what a team like that needs, the first thing that comes to my mind is a 35 year old overweight dinosaur with a bad hip who not only cannot run anymore but also has a cap-crushing contract to boot.

The only explanation I can think of that would possibly make any sense of this is that Steve Kerr heard about the Pau Gasol trade, immediately wet his pants and in a blind panic decided that he needed to do something, anything to keep up. Pat Riley was more than happy to take advantage.

Maybe just adding Shaq wouldn't have hurt them so much had they not also traded away Shawn Marion away in the process. Marion was such a perfect fit with the Suns in that he could outrun pretty much every other power forward he was matched up against. For the Heat, this could speed their rebuilding exponentially - Marion can (and likely will) opt out of his contract, leaving the Heat with lots of cap space to build around in an effort to rebuild around Dwayne Wade.

For the Suns? This is what they call in Vegas, "going all in." If it doesn't work, then it's not just that they won't be as good as the Lakers, they could easily fall below the Spurs, Mavericks, Hornets, and possibly the Jazz and Nuggets as well.

Congratulations, Steve Kerr, you've established your permanent legacy with your first big move on the job. Good luck with that!

More Good Karma News

2008-02-04T16:36:00.001-08:00

Every once in awhile, it's refreshing to see that bad things can still happen to bad people.

No More Words Needed

2008-02-04T14:09:00.000-08:00

Though the entire purpose of this site is to make pithy observations about sporting events, I still don't think I have anything constructive to add about yesterday's game.

The Final Drive, including the impossible catch by David Tyree and the last minute pass to Plaxico Burress, will easily rival the Kirk Gibson home run in the 1988 World Series as the most absolutely stunning sporting moment I have ever witnessed.

Congrats to the Giants - I feel less bad that the Packers lost to you now.

Have You No Shame, Mr. Specter?

2008-02-01T14:01:00.000-08:00

Before we play this Very Big Football Game this weekend, can we take a closer look at what's happening in Washington this week?

We have Arlen Specter, R-PA, a high ranking United States Senator who wants to drag in the NFL in regards to the Patriots/Spygate scandal.

Particularly, he wants to know if the scandal involved his hometown Eagles when they played the Patriots in the Super Bowl several years ago.

Or, basically: a sitting Senator is using his position of power to find out why his favorite team lost a football game.

What ... the ... fuck!??? Seriously. How can this not be characterized as, at best, a total waste of time and, at worst, a total abuse of power?

If this is how our government is planning to serve us now, then it might be time to seriously consider a coup.

Wonderful Wacky World of the NBA

2008-02-01T12:38:00.000-08:00

I'll admit, I'm not much of a basketball fan. Granted, I do love the NCAA tournament, but sometime after that ends and the endless NBA playoffs finally conclude, I invariably lose interest. One thing I do love about the pro game, though, is the utter absurdity of player transactions that the Salary Cap has spawned.

For instance: one team agrees to trade their best player in exchange for 2 very bad ones, including one who is so incredibly bad that he gets booed every time he touches the ball - at home - and somehow this ends up being a good deal.

I understand the intricate salary cap ramifications of such a deal, but just the thought that you're better off with nothing instead of an actual good basketball player is astounding.

What also amazes me is that, thanks to the same salary cap, a GM in the NBA has the chance to not only destroy a team's present, but future as well. Despite the potential for damage, more NBA teams employ a greater percentage of laughably awful GMs than any other sport. Isaiah Thomas may be little more than a punching bad at this point, but consider the fact that he has not only made the Knicks awful now, but guaranteed that they'll be awful for the next 5 years. Oh, and sexually harassed some people and gotten sued in the process, but really, that's just a bonus. That type of incompetence truly should be the stuff of legends.

Belichick to the Assembled Press: I Will Always Be Smarter Than You

2008-01-29T12:12:00.000-08:00

To say that Bill Belichick has accomplished plenty as the head coach of an NFL team would be severely understating the position. Truth is, his accomplishments as an X's and O's traditional football coach are actually profoundly dwarfed by his mastery of personnel matters in the Salary Cap era. That, and his downright Svengali-ish manipulation of the press. For instance: The Boot. Has anyone involved in professional sports ever made a collective industry look more foolish than the media has looked in regards to this? Consider that the best receiver in the NFL had a court hearing just yesterday to determine the validity of charges that he assaulted someone, and everyone with a microphone is focused on whether or not the QB is walking with a slight limp or not.

Does anyone at ESPN or any of the major networks know or appreciate that they're being used, or do they simply enjoy going along for the ride? There's a perception that the Patriots don't want any information released, ever, and that's simply and clearly not true. They knew Brady would be seen in that boot (nice use of the flowers in that photo op, Tom, because you clearly needed yet another reason to become the jealous desire of every female on earth). They knew exactly how the press would react, and pretty much everything that's happened since then has been according to design.

Sometimes I wonder how someone like Belichick would have done had he chosen another career path. If he hadn't been a football man, he'd have made an excellent Secretary of Defense.